- Rarely do things turn out the way I want them to.
- When I get rid of problems, others will always take their place.
- No matter where I go, I generally encounter one or more stupid people.
- More often than not, stupid people are there to prevent me from doing something.
- 99% of people on this planet are stupid in some major area of life.
- There will always be more stupid people in my way.
- You will turn into one of those stupid people when you're not paying attention.
- I will turn into one of those stupid people when I'm not paying attention.
- The phone always rings most when I'm least available to answer it.
- Whenever luck is involved, it's usually bad.
- Everything bad, hectic, or taxing..always happens at once.
- There are never enough donuts.
- There are never enough hours in the day to accomplish what you're trying to do.
- People never fail at some point to disapoint.
- Good times always end too quickly.
- Bad times always last too long.
- Memories of horrible or embarrassing events always stay fresh and vivid in one's mind.
- Memories of good and pleasant times fade considerably, becoming distant or even gone.
- The tortures of sexual repression are far too encompassing.
- Computers are NEVER fast enough.
- And neither are most women.
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Created April 8, 1997