"Fine then, we'll MAKE one.." Lt. Barkley in Star Trek
"Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball." Narrator in Saturday Night Live
"..hH...sorry..." John Blutarsky in Animal House
"But sir, I don't HAVE a pornograph." Groucho Marx
"Why me John Bigboote?" John O'Connor in Buckaroo Banzai
"Well..I know I feel more comfortable when they're not around..." Henry in Barfly
"Oh my beloved ice cream bar..how I love to lick your creamy center.." Ren in Space Madness
"ALL DONE....BYE BYE" Mulder's cell phone's LCD panel in X-Files
"You have NO idea..." Scar in The Lion King
"Mmmmm..forbidden donut..." Homer in The Simpsons
"Je suis, Victor." Victor the cleaner in La Femme Nakita
"BUNNY!" Behemoth in The Nightmare Before Christmas
"I'll be takin these huggies and...whatever you got in the register." Herbert in Razing Arizona
"You know...for the kids.." Norville Barnes in The Hudsucker Proxy
"(shnAP!)" Renton's Condom in Trainspotting
"...groovy." Ash in Evil Dead II and III
"I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green, Merry Fuckin Christmas!" Dennis Leary
"If you're gonna spew, spew into THIS.." Garth in Wayne's World
"You always tell the truth....even when you're lying." Lane Bodine in White Sands
"We louts are ANGRY!" Loaf in a Ren and Stimpy epsiode
"Weez the juice." Linkovitch Chimpouski in Encino Man
"Always like dis." Leon in The Professional
"ooOps!" some guy on a cooking show
"Have you any idea how successful censorship is on television? No answer? Pretty successful, isn't it..." Max Headroom
"You can't get weewee for free." Tom in His Chair
"Finally, an erection from actual physical contact." Brian in My So Called Life
"Now if you scream, Lewis here will have to bash you." James in Men At Work
"Lookit heere Henraayy...says Jonely Bonely Stewaarrrrt!" Henry on some comedy show
"They're BAD for mee!" CeeCee in The Back Yard
"Hold your gun like a MAN, dammit!" Lucas in Three Fugitives
"I LIKE it.." Cliff in The Rocketeer
"I'm also better than you are." Chris Knight in Real Genius
"Whoa, there's a smore under my breast!" Amber in The Woods
"Oo! I'm askin ya with my BRAIN this time!" Molt in Bug's Life
"Don't be sorry, just put on some new underwear." Cop in Barfly
"Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness." Unknown
"No no no...if they'd blown up there would be pieces of them all over the place.." Wayne in Honey I Shrunk the Kids
"Now all I needed to do was get to a computer...and find a 10 year old to teach me how to use it." Irwin Fletcher in Fletch 2
"That's not a knife.." Crocodile Dundee
"That's the answer Mr.Spock." James Kirk in some Star Trek
"I'll be back." Terminator
"I HATE the Center for Theoretical Physics..." Gordon on The Phone
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.." Elaine in Seinfeld
"He's like..trying to do business with a bottle of valium." Nameless individual
"We don't put up with that kind of crap here SIR!" Embassy Guard in The Simpsons
"Aw man..mine's busted." Dude in 'Jooky' commercial
"I can stop you with my finger!" one of three girls walking by outside
"..because I have water trapped between my breasts." Siouxsie in The Bathtub
"Bob!...Bob!?.." Frank Black in Millennium
"HEAD! PANTS! NOWW!!" Stuart Mackenzie in So I Married an Axe Murderer
"Maybe they are not ready for my forbidden dance.." Twizzler in Twizzler Commercial
"Dubblyuh dubblyuh dubbiya dawt nascar dawt cawm" Some hick on TNN.
"The only reason broadband works today is that not many people use it." Steve Lerner in Wired
"All current and recently proposed systems are inadequate." Rebecca Mercuri
Multi-Part Quotes:
"So, what can a woman do that really, turns you on the most." Interviewer
"Well, for me it's that..certain something..that kinda, magical thing when they... actually pay attention to you." Chris Isaak
"You were lucky to have a ROOM..we used to have to live in CORRIDOR!"
"Ohhh we used to DREAM of livin in a corridor! Would've been a palace to us."
Monty Python people in Four Yorkshiremen live skit
"But it's all in my head.." Young Einstein
"Well, what do you wish us to do sir, patent your HEAD?" Clerk
"Think we lost'em?" Sheriff Trueman
"....gimme a donut." Agent Cooper
"Benny, bring me everyone.." Stansfield
"What'dya mean everyone?" Benny
"EEEVERYYOOOONNE!!!!" Stansfield
in The Professional
"Do you know the difference between right and wrong?" Sarah Gordon
"Why do you ask me this? In American movies, at the end, always the good guy gets the money, the girl and the applause, and the bad guy gets in jail or something. But in real life, it's not clear who is good and who is bad, and who gets what. It's not black and white. The only thing that is for sure is that good people always lose." Dark Avenger (virus author)
Music Quotes:
"It's so damn crazy when you talk weird.."
Some British Woman in The Riff
"I don't like this party, they won't let me make a drink."
Kristin Hersh in Tango
"In the land of the blind a one eyed man is king.."
Tom Waits in Singapore
"There's a dream that strings the road, with broken glass for us to hold."
Simon Le Bon in Is There Something I Should Know
"You're one microscopic cog in his catastrophic plan, designed and directed by his red right hand.."
Nick Cave in Red Right Hand
"Hopelessly fighting the devil futility, feeling the monster climb deeper inside of me.
Feeling him gnawing my heart away hungry, I'll never lose this pain..never dream of you again."
Robert Smith in Untitled
"And heaven is in front of me, yes heaven beckons me inticingly..when I arrive it's gone.
The river flows, the wise man knows, I follow you."
David Gahan in The Bottom Line
"I am lost..So I am cruel...I'd be love and sweetness..If I had you."
Shirley Manson in Milk
"What's wrong, what's right, I don't care cause I hate my life.
What's wrong, what's right, aw-people don't care when they hate their lives."
Gordon Gano in Gimme The Car
"This next song is about, how pointless it is...feeling hopeless."
Fiona Apple during a session at west 54th
"I must be pure and true, I must contain my view. There must be something else. There must be something good, far away. Far away from here.."
Chris Cornell in Boot Camp
"I never would have pegged you, for what you have become
Everyone lies, everyone cheats, but not like you've done."
Shirly Manson in Dog New Tricks
"Like the echoes of your childhood laughter, ever after
Like the first time love urged you to take it's guidance, in silence
Like your heartbeat when you realize you're dying, but you're trying
Like the way you cry for a happy ending, ending..."
Mike Patton in The Real Thing
"we're throwin punches underwater, sink with me..sink with me"
Kelly Dayton in Roll On
"I need something to fly, over my grave again. I need, something to breath."
Michael Stipe in Try Not To Breath
"One of these mornings..you're gonna rise, rise up singin...you're gonna, spread your wings..child and take, take to the sky..."
Janis Joplin in Don't You Cry
"When I'm on my knees and..begging now.."
Natalie Merchant in I May Know The World
"And when I was young my daddy sat me on his knee and told me, he told me many things. He said, 'Son, there's a lot of things in this world your gonna have NNOOO USE FOR! And when you're blue, you've lost all your dreams, there's nothin like a camp fire and a CAN OF BEANS!'"
Tom Waits in some song of his
"and Ammond would say, 'Aw judge, your damn laws.. The good people don't need'em and the bad people don't obey'em. So what use are they?'"
Utah Philips in Anarchy
"You don't know what you're doin, babe it must be art."
Bono in Hold me Thrill me Kiss me Kill me
"Cause one's got a weasel and others got a flag, one's on the pole shove the other in the bag."
Beck in Loser
"Butta-fuckaAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa!"
Miho Hatori in Butterfucker
"Claaass disssmiiiissed!"
David Roth in Hot For Teacher
"Music is your, only friend....un....til the end.."
Jim Morrison in When the Music's Over
(If I've mis-quoted anyone, please tell me..)